we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
