Got a toothbrush?
Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Randomize