Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
