Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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