All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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