I need help removing her.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Randomize
