In the future we'll all be gay
the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
