i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
