In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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