Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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