Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
well most of my day revolves around power hour
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
