Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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