i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
My pussy is not your playground.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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