so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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