Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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