I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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