My cat gives me a boner
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
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