those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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