i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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