let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
