I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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