I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
