Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Are my feet made of real feet?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
