it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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