Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
