11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Randomize
