Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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