Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
