I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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