Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Randomize
