What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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