he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You took a bar mat shot.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
