We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
