69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
