I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Randomize
