and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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