Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
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