i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
