I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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