i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
