I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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