The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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