Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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