a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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