He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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