She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
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