It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
