I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
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