You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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