i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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