Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
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