Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
